PART ONE

After twelve years, my third marriage had come to an end.  We sold our home on a beautiful 66-acre timbered mountain top, had our two sweet cows butchered, sold off the laying chickens, re-homed our old girl Felicia, my daughter’s horse, and our beautiful golden retriever.  Gone was the logging equipment, and finally the fishing boat.  Friends helped me load the UHaul truck and my daughter and I headed back to California.  My former husband had already moved to Washington.

With my oldest daughter married - with my two little granddaughters - and my middle-aged daughter in the Air Force, it was just my youngest and me.  She was thirteen when her life was uprooted for the first time.  She was about to discover a world beyond her small community upbringing.

We relocated back to my hometown in Roseville, California where I attended school ... where life started for me about her age … and, where the roller coaster ride first began in 1968.

The year was now 1995.

It felt strange going back.  So many memories.  The place had grown so huge, and, where there never used to be anything, was now shopping malls and apartment complexes.  I rented an apartment in a very nice community.  It offered all kinds of activities, which I thought might help my daughter better adjust to her new environment.  She did seem to enjoy the walkways around the lovely landscaped complex, but after she had gone to the game room a few times, having no interest in the pool or tennis courts, she found a hangout area that she wasn't much interested in either.  She did meet one girl who she hung out with occasionally, yet, she didn’t seem to be adjusting as well as I had hoped … especially at her new school.  She was lonely for her life and friends in Oregon.

I finally sought employment after getting settled in.  I had applied for three different jobs, and was called for interviews to two of them.  Both companies called within hours after my interview.  I had told myself I would take the first one that called with an offer, because there was no guarantee of the other.  I was confident I had the positions when I left, and I was so glad that the one I really wanted called first - a company that built high end custom homes. 

It wasn't fifteen minutes after I accepted that position when the other place called, in which I was glad I got to turn it down.  I realized at that interview the emotional strain it would take on me might be too much.  It was a rehab center for abused kids.  The really dark energy I felt there was not desirable, yet, I knew if they called first, I would have accepted that challenge.  I was very relieved it turned out the other way.

Work was going well, until it became overload.  I was doing the job of three to four people.  I was fried every weekend, just recouping from the stress of it all.  When school break came, my daughter went to stay a couple of weeks at her stepfathers in Washington.  I decided to take a little vacation ... I needed some relaxation time ... a new adventure, something I had never done before.  I got online, not knowing where to start, where to look, and I came across an ad for a Bed and Breakfast package.  That is when I met Everett from Austin, Texas.

I responded to the ad by sending an email to the person who supposedly owned and ran the business.  I got a response right away.  He answered my questions about the offer and had some questions for me, as well, like how many in the party, timeframe, and stuff like that.  I wrote him back that it was just for myself, explaining my need to get away and renew my energy for work.  That’s how our communication started, one question leading to the next and the next.  My plan for a short vacation had turned into a meeting face to face later on.

He continued to write me, and I continued to write him and before I knew it, he had drawn me in deeper and deeper.  We began to share life stories, though he got me to do most of the sharing, and it felt good to have someone who was interested in my life.  He was a writer, although, he said, his day job was part of the creative team for a large company that built components for NASA’s rocket systems.  He was quite proud that he helped design some components that he claimed had actually gone to the moon.

However, I was more interested in his writings after he told me he had several published articles in various relationship magazines, some popular ones included.  He had sent me copies of a few articles from the magazines, and the more I discovered, the more I developed the realization that he was a respected and notable relationship advisor.  Everett’s knowledge on the subject of relationships was undeniably an attention grabber – which gave me some kind of understanding into my past relationships – and that made for many long, long conversations … conversations that were too deep for emails.

Over the course of several weeks, Everett and I grew closer and it wasn’t long before we were speaking on the phone.  From the moment I heard his voice it was as if something deep inside triggered a powerful connection.  I had never heard a voice that powerful touch me in such a way.  His voice was hypnotic.
 
There were many nights into the early morning hours we would talk, and at this stage things went even deeper into a unity of one … like some kind of trance.  I must admit it felt as real as if he were right next to me, holding me close, speaking softly into my ear with words that sparked a radiate flame of passion though my entire being.
Nearly every morning, and every night, his voice was the first and the last I heard.  Then the time came we wanted to desperately meet. 

During the course of our online time together, I would not send him a photo of myself.  I needed him to fall in love with me, my person, my mind and soul, and not my appearance.  All my former relationships were based on appearance, and though I went into those relationships with a hope that I would be discovered and loved for all my pain and suffering, challenges and sacrifices, I found that none cared to truly know me.  I had always felt like it was my body they loved.  I had to know I was loved for me, so I refused to send Everett any images of myself.  He, however, wanted to send one photo of himself, for he needed to know I could love him for his body, and not just his mind and soul.  He was overweight, and that was his greatest insecurity.

The photo he provided didn’t really give me a good image of him as he was standing far off, climbing into a black limo.  I could tell he was heavy, but not so much it was shocking.  And his appearance did not matter to me at that point anyway.  I was so in love I was totally blind … totally in love with a voice with luring words.

It may seem odd that one would fall deeply in love through a voice, yet his voice held me captive in the most intoxicating manner.  I would soon come to realize the voice did not connect to the body as I believed whole-heartedly it would.  That is where my greatest struggle began and eventually ended.

It was summertime then, and although I had only been at my new job for less than six months, I took off work for a couple of days, and with the weekend, I made plans for a four-day trip to Austin.  I knew they wouldn’t be happy about that, the workload was so heavy, and I knew when I returned that files would be piled high.

My daughter went to stay at my folks that week.  Her grandma and grandpa took her on their own little vacation.  I was so excited all the way there, but I was also kind of nervous, both because I hadn’t flown that much and it was a little scary, and because of anticipation of meeting Everett.  When the plane landed, I waited for everyone to unload the plane before I got off, avoiding the rush. 

When I entered the airport, my eyes were darting around to find him, and after a few moments I noticed a man standing alone looking around as if he too was searching for someone.  I immediately realized he was Everett, and something inside me froze for a moment.  I didn’t have that instant excited feeling I expected to happen.  I had a moment of panic, and instantly, something felt not right.  When he noticed me, his eyes locked on me as I walk toward him.  He asked if I was Judith.  Of course, I said yes, and he came over and gave me a hug.

I sensed an aura radiating around him that made me feel eerie.  When he first spoke, my mind was boggled.  I had never experienced such a strangeness.  His voice did not connect with his body.  It took me a while to mentally force the connection.

As he drove us to his second-story apartment, I was feeling quite uncomfortable.  I didn’t talk much, just short conversations like how was the trip.  I sensed he also felt uncomfortable.  He told me how beautiful I was, more than he ever imagined … and I wished I had felt the same of him.  Truth is, I was utterly turned off by him, and it wasn’t because of his weight.  I really felt confused.  Something didn’t fit the way I assumed, and for the remainder of my time, it felt like eternity … in the most awful of ways. 

The reality that brought us face to face, body to body, soul to soul, did not bring us spirit to spirit – I didn’t feel that spiritual bond I believed we had developed.  I would close my eyes sometimes just to listen to his voice, trying to find that feeling, but it had vanished. 

He wasn’t the confident man he portrayed to be, that was obvious and disappointing, but I excused that.  He was nervous, as I, and it felt awkward, which was normal, but none of that was it.  What was ‘it,’ I could not figure out.  His apartment had an unfeeling about it.  Not the warmth of a home.  But that was excusable too, he was a single guy.  It was, however, a very nice place, clean and tidy, with nice basic furnishings.

When he tried to be affectionate, his touch made me feel discomforted.  I found myself stepping outside to have a cigarette way more often than normal just to get away from him.   He didn’t join me because he was a nonsmoker and it bothered him.  When I realized that, it became my way of escaping for moments to just get me through it. 

We slept together in his bed, but we didn’t have sex.  It was most difficult to get through those few nights, and I was glad he didn’t pursue what he felt I wasn’t into ... and I absolutely wasn’t into that.
 
As the days passed, I tried to make the best of the situation. The daytime was better than the nights because he took me places to meet people, see the sights of Austin, and dine out at some very nice restaurants.  The nights were more difficult.  He didn’t like that I went out to smoke so often.  He made the comment that he not only noticed I was out having a cigarette a lot, but that it bothered him, it took away his time with me, he said.  It made him act differently than he did at first, a lot more insecure.  Sometimes he was scowling, and sometimes he was pouty like a little boy.  I felt a bit paranoid because he wasn’t the person I thought he was.  I found myself playing the part the best I could, not sure how to act, I only knew I had to keep it cool. 

I knew it bothered him that I wasn’t the loving and affection woman he had come to know.  Those glimpses of moments when I saw the different sides to him ... it resembled a melancholic, kind of mysterious energy he seemed to try and conceal.  I thought he was scared that he might scare me off, making him all the more insecure.  Yet, when we were around his friends and family, he was a totally different person. 

I never feared him, I just didn’t feel what I imagined I would ... the fantasy crushed by reality.

He was a nice man, overall, a true gentleman who even opened doors.  It really bothered me that the feelings I had before I went, were gone.  Just gone.  His friends and a few coworkers, his lovely family with grandchildren, and everyone just loved him, and they seemed to love me too.  I was friendly, sociable, trying to enjoy my time.  He took me to the Bed and Breakfast house, he had claimed was his, and there I learned it actually belonged to his friends.  It was a very warm and friendly place, in a beautiful area of lush green landscaping, lots of huge trees, and gardens bursting with colorful flowers and shrubs.  We had a wonderful lunch there. 

It was such a warm and beautiful day that we took a walk along the country road, holding hands.  I thought to myself how wonderful it would have been to have taken that vacation and never got involved with Everett.  And although I played the part the best I could, it felt fake.  After four days, I wanted to go home so bad.  I couldn’t wait to leave that morning.

When he took me to the airport, I knew it wasn’t going to work.  When he hugged and kissed me goodbye, like we were still in love, I felt badly for him.  As I walked away and looked back, all I saw was a gloomy, lonely, and undesirable man standing there.  And once I was completely out of his presence, that feeling, that awful feeling I had felt from the moment I arrived, had disappeared.  On the way home I cried, silently, at how disappointed I was.  I just couldn’t believe it.  I felt like I lost the love of my life, and I just didn’t understand why.

When I got home, I knew I never wanted to go back but I didn’t know how to tell him, so I tried to ignore him.  I didn’t contact him to let him know I was home, and I ignored all his attempts to contact me for days.  He tried to call so many times, but I just couldn’t answer ... I just couldn’t bare to hear his voice.   He emailed me like crazy, frantic, and crying over what he didn’t understand had happened.

After a week, I found the courage to finally email him and apologize, telling him things just are not going to work out, explaining that I was sorry, and I didn’t mean to hurt him, but I just didn’t make the same connection in person.  His response was a long and deep confession of how he wasn’t himself because he was nervous.  I did not respond to him, because I knew my lack of feeling were not because he was nervous, yet, I still could not understand why.  He started calling every day, at night, too many times, and one day I made the mistake of picking up.  I wanted him to stop, stop and go away, it was overbearing, the emails, the phone calls.  But instead, as I feared, his voice got back in my head.  He got me to open up and express what I felt, and I told him of the darkness I felt around him and he apologized by saying he wasn’t himself.  He repeated what he wrote, telling me he was nervous and scared, and that is why I felt that way.  He convinced me to give him another chance.  He said he wanted to show me the real person he is, the man I grew to love.

He talked me into allowing him to come to California so he could show me he wasn’t that person I met in Texas.  I agreed to let him come.  My daughter and I went to pick him up from the airport, and he was like a totally different person.  He was upbeat, positive, joyful, confident, and the man I wanted to believe he was, the man I came to know and love over months of emails and phone calls.  My daughter, however, didn’t warm up to him at all.  She stayed mostly in her bedroom.

After spending the day and evening together, things were starting to feel right again, and I was able to let my guard down and enjoy the happiness I had felt before.  The next day I took him around to see our area, meet some of my old school mates, and had a nice lunch.  They all seemed to like him a lot, more than anyone else they had ever met.  They told me they thought he was intelligent ... a keeper.
 
That evening he surprised and shocked me when he asked me to marry him.  I said I thought it was too early to take that step, but he had a way of smooth talking.  He said I could move out to Austin and we can make plans to have a wedding there.  He wanted to put a ring on my finger before he left, and make it official, saying it would make him the happiest man alive.  He was like an excited little boy, “Please, Please,” he begged, so sweetly, and I played right into it.

Later that evening he suggested we go buy a ring.  He wanted to get a real nice one, so we went to the jewelry store at the mall.  I was taken aback when he asked me if I could pay for it, saying he would pay me back, explaining his funds were a little short, and his credit card maxed out.  So, I paid for the ring, though it bothered me to do so.  He did, however, repay me later.

When we got back to the apartment, I went into my daughter’s room to tell her Everett and I were engaged, but she didn’t look happy about that.  I asked her what was wrong, and she said there was something about him, saying she felt something wasn’t right, yet, she didn’t know why.  She hardly had spoken a word to him the entire time he was there … four days, and three nights. 

The day before he was leaving, he said that morning at the breakfast table, “Let’s get married today.  We can drive up to Reno.”  My daughter looked disturbed at his statement and she left the table.  I knew he could feel her distrust of him, though he didn’t make mention of it, or show he was concerned.

I went to her room after that and sat down, asking her what is wrong with her.  She said, right to the point, if I wanted to marry him she couldn’t stop me, but she wanted no part of it.  She refused to go to Reno with me, even though I pleaded with her to support me.  In that moment, when she absolutely refused, I realized, I can’t marry him if she wasn’t going to be with me.  I told her, then I won’t get married.

I went back to the table, where he still sat, and held his hand, telling him I can’t marry him because my daughter won’t go.  He started crying.  He turned into a bumbling baby and I felt badly for him, yet, I had to put my daughter first.  I told him we can wait, and still get married in Austin.  I thought she would change her mind once she got to know him better.

The night before he left we had our first sexual encounter, and it wasn't the most passionate love making I had known, but I felt bad for him for his disappointment.  I suppose I wanted to give him something that would bond us until we were together again.

He left the next day, and after three weeks I quit my job and was packing up to move.  I hired a moving company to ship all my belongings, and stuffed my car full of plants and things we would need until the moving truck arrived.  It was a long, long drive and I was glad when we finally arrived.  He was very excited to have us, he made his spare bedroom into a place for my daughter.  Though she didn’t really warm up to him, she was respectful.

I didn’t find out until I got there that when Everett had returned home from his trip to California, he lied and told everyone we had got married while he was there.  His coworkers, family, and friends were so happy for him they planned a wedding reception.  I was upset that he lied about us, but what could I do except play along.

The reception was more than I ever could have imagined.  I was quite surprised to see how many people adored him.  I had only met a few when I was there before.  There must have been over 25 guests.  The people who hosted the reception lived in a beautiful, elegant, very large home.  There was so much delicious food, prepared and arranged in an attractive display, spread out along a long, white clothed table.  On another table sat piles of gifts wrapped in fancy paper and bows, and upon opening them were expensive gifts.  I couldn’t believe it.  Everyone just loved me and said how happy they were for Everett, how he deserved to have happiness.  The only thing was, it wasn’t true, and I had to live that lie.  I had to tell my family and friends I was married too.  I even took his last name.

I got my daughter registered in school, but it was so huge it frightened her.  She was used to small town schools.  Even the one in California was too large, but the Austin school was almost terrifying for her.  It was very hard for her to adjust.  I could see she was becoming depressed, staying in bedroom most of the time.  She would only come out to eat dinner with us at the table, and go back to her room.  Everett tried to make conversation with her, and one day he discovered she liked to sing, when he would hear her in the bedroom listening to music.  He said she had a beautiful voice and he wanted to get her singing lessons.  She was really excited about that.

He knew the lady who gave the lessons, but she only accepted those she felt had real potential.  It was not easy to get into her private lessons, she was well-known as one of the best in Austin.  When he took her for an audition to see if she would meet the criteria, she did.  My daughter was thrilled.  It was quite costly, but Everett paid for it, as well as taking her himself to each lesson.  I could see her attitude change toward him after that.  She would bring home tape recordings of her singing ... and she did have a beautiful voice.  Finally, there was something to make her happy.

Everett did all driving while my car sat in the parking lot.  He had a really nice, cherry red sports type car, with an awesome AC.  The humidity there was near unbearable and I spent little time outside, mostly to have a cigarette.  From apartment, to car, to store I would hurry in and out.  I had never been in such humid conditions before, and that, I didn’t like at all.  We took many trips to nearby areas.  He seemed to enjoy showing me parts of Texas.  We had lunches and dinners along the way, a glass of wine, and just sitting in quiet places.  It was very pleasant.

Things were going well for about six months, but then things started to get strange.  For the next couple of months, I started to hear him in the master bathroom talking, mumbling, and it sounded like he was talking to someone, or more than one someone, as it sounded like different voices.  After it had happened a few of times, I got curious and went to listen at the door.  I couldn’t make out what he was saying, but it felt creepy.  I didn’t say anything to him about it, didn’t ask him any questions, or let on I had any concerns.  I just became more observant of his behavior. 

One night he came out of the master bathroom with an angry face, and started pacing the living room like something was bothering him.  It was very late and my daughter was sound asleep.  When he returned to the bedroom, I sensed a strong negative energy stirring about him, and I asked what was wrong.  He stood over the bed, glaring at me, and then went back into the master bathroom.  I then heard him talking in a deep voice, just loud enough I could kind of understand, and the words he spoke were scary … words that expressed dislike of me.  My heart began to race.  As I listened, I heard his voice struggling against the deep voice, demanding I not be harmed.

I laid there in bed frozen with fear.  When he came out and got into bed, he wrapped his arms around me, as if to protect me.  I didn’t move.  The next morning, he acted like nothing had happened, and I pretended like I didn’t know anything.  For days after that, he seemed as if he was still struggling with something within himself.
 
One night he finally confessed to me his deep dark secret … a secret he tried so hard to hide and control, a secret he feared I would find out and leave him, a secret he feared himself had reached a point that he could longer deal with it alone.  He hoped, he said, that with all my experiences that I might be able to help him.  He made it sound like it was more of an emotional issue, an insecurity of sorts, that he was battling.  I did try to help him, until it was too much, until there was more than I imagined going on. 

I came to realize I was not prepared to take on such a mission, especially after he revealed the dark reality I was facing.

When he could no longer hide the whole truth ... when he confessed to having multiple personalities … when he said one of them hated me, my panic alarm went off, warning me to run ... and on the day he held me hostage, was the day I did.

PART TWO

The reality of Everett’s secret became ever more apparent in the days ahead.  He told me of a female and a younger boy whom he said liked me, but the male figure didn’t trust me.  He never gave them names, and although I never heard the female, I did come to see the younger boy would appear when he would cry.  I went to my daughter to inform her of what I had discovered.  Her strength had always been my rock during the many hardships we lived through - as my two older daughters had been in our earlier days.  When I told her what was going on, she admitted she had also noticed he was acting different at times. 

I never feared for her, and she never felt threatened.  He was still taking her to singing lessons, while I continued to tread lightly, keeping up the routine.  I had explained to her that I had tried the past two month to avoid having to make the desperate decision, but learning he had multi-personalities brought about a more worrisome reality.  She knew then, as I, we had to get out of that situation.  At that point, we both felt uncomfortable, and we could tell he felt our distance.  Just his touch gave me inner chills.

The one blessing I had was the funds from the sale of our 66-acre mountain property.  Thank God for that.  It had already cost me thousands of dollars to get to Austin, and now, thousands more to flee … in less than a year. 

Each day I pretended that everything was fine, though I could see his paranoia became more revealing after he confessed his truth.  As often as I could I avoided sex, but one night I saw a dark and scary side to him.  He wasn’t the gentle man he had been.  His eyes were scary, and his strength became apparent as he held me down and thrust his body against me, making eerie sounds, groans and grunts that gave me chills as I laid still.  It was a familiar act I had known before, and it conjured up all kinds of unpleasant memories and feelings of my first marriage.

That next morning, I was still shaken up.  It didn’t feel like it was Everett making love, it felt like a sexual predator.  I didn’t get up until he had left for work, pretending I was sleeping.  All day long I was feeling nervous as he called me every couple of hours, as if to keep checking on me.  I was afraid he knew what I was going to plan.  That night at the dinner table he was very quiet.

Again, that night I avoided him touching me by telling him I didn’t feel well.  The next morning, I knew I had to do something, so I decided to call a moving company to see what it would take to pack all my things and truck them to Oregon.  I had to forgo the trucking option because their schedule was out two weeks for pickup … and I had to go now.

I decided to hire someone to come pack me up, and instead of trucking my belongings, I would rent a U-Haul and have them load it.  I thought in the days ahead I would make plans for my son-in-law to fly out and help me move back home.  I was just in the first throws of making my escape.  I had made several calls while gathering information, trying to get everything lined up before I told him of my decision, a decision he must have already known.

I set an appointment up for a lady to come over the next morning, telling her I needed to work quickly … without going into a lot of detail.  She said she could be there at 9:30am, long after Everett would have left for work.  She explained the process of taking inventory, how many boxes they will need, and time involved … and then she would prepare me an estimate. 

That next morning my daughter went on to school, although she wanted stay with me, knowing the plan.  I needed things to appear normal.  Things, however, did not go the way I hoped.

In the eight months I had lived there, Everett had never taken a day off work, nor was he ever late to work … but that morning, he hung around and hung around, drinking coffee and reading the newspaper at the dining table.  I kept waiting for him to leave, getting nervous that the lady would be there soon.  Finally, I said to him, “You’re going to be late,” and he responded, “No problem, I called in.” 

In my mind I thought he must know, he must know, but how would he know.  Then I got suspicious that he had cameras in the apartment, he must have, I thought, how else did he know?  At 9:30am the knock came at the door and I tried to get to the door before him so I could tell the lady he was still there, and get rid of her.  As I made my way to the door, he blocked me and said he’d get it.  My heart began to pound.

I heard the lady ask for me and he let her in.  When she saw my face, she knew I was freaked out.  Everett went to sit back down at the dining table, his face with a look of stewing, brewing with anger, not speaking a word.  I immediately led her to the bedroom walk-in closet, where she started her inventory, and where I could talk to her without him hearing.  She said to me she thought he was going to be gone.  I told her what I suspected, and so I was in a more hurried situation, letting her know I hadn’t told him yet.  She commented that he looked scary to her, and said she’d do all she could to put a rush on the job, fearing for my safety.

Everett sat at the table, still silent, just watching the lady go from room to room with her clipboard while I pointed to her all my belongings.  He knew what was going on.  When I walked her to the door, she whispered that she would send me an email with the estimate that afternoon, and as soon as I pay online, she will schedule the packers.  Around 11:30am she left.

The moment she was gone, he stood up and asked, “Are you leaving me?”  I was so scared, but I told him I just couldn’t deal with the situation, and that I had planned on talking to him.  I explained how I was just getting some information, because I didn’t think I could go on with his mental state.  I tried to handle things as careful as I could, as I had done so many times before, yet, it never got any easier.

I expected him to break into tears, to start crying as he often did, yet, instead, he suddenly became darkly possessive.  His entire expression turned to a fuming face … his eyes shaded black.  I had a terrible feeling that Everett was taken over by the personality that hated me, and was protecting him from the pain I caused.

I tried to let him down gently, but he refused to hear what I said.  He became extremely agitated, pacing the floor, breathing heavy, and demanding that I cannot go.  He wasn’t going to let me go.  Then he grabbed the phone and sat down on the sofa.

He called his attorney asking him to draw up papers that would make me stay, saying we were married under Texas common law, and he had the right to force me to stay.  His attorney told him he could not force me to stay.  He begged him to do something to stop me from leaving, and became even more distressed that he had no legal way to pursue his demand.

When he hung up, he put the phone down on the sofa and began pace the living room, going in circles, his head hung down and talking to himself.  I stayed sitting at the dining table, watching him, fearing him, afraid to move.  The look on his face was one of a stern and serious expression, one I had never seen before.  His voice was deeper with a threatening tone, and I knew in that instant I had to keep calm.

I moved over to the sofa hoping to get a hold of the cordless phone.  If I could grab it and run into the bathroom, I could lock the door and call 911.  When I sat down, he seemed to be guarding it with his eyes.  Then, in his paranoia, he realized that I was going to take it and he grabbed it up, saying, “You’re not calling anyone.”  He took the phone into the bedroom and hid it somewhere.

Everett went totally to the dark side.  He continued to pace the floor, mumbling under his breath in an eerie tone, looking at me with penetrating eyes of spitefulness.  I became very scared to move as he continued to pace the floor.  I told him I needed to use the bathroom and left the room.  Once in there I locked the door, too afraid to come out.  When I didn’t return, he came to the door asking what I was doing.  I didn’t answer.  He got louder, demanding I come out, but I said nothing.  I was terrified.

It must have been an hour or so when I heard his daughters voice in the other room.  She came to the bathroom door and said it was okay for me to come out, saying she was taking her dad to her house.  I came out, and she hugged me, apologizing for her father’s behavior.  She said she hoped things would never come to that point.  She was fully aware of his mental condition and told me she’d been trying to help him for years.  She felt really bad for me.  I told her I have to leave, as quick as possible.  She said Everett put the phone back so I could go ahead to make my arrangements … assuring me she would keep him away until I left.  I asked her how she knew to come, and she said her dad had called her.

I didn’t get to know his daughter as well as I should have, but she was a sensible woman with several children and another on the way with a lovely home and a good loving husband.  I always sensed their relationship was close, and now I understood why.  She was very understanding of my situation and cared about my daughter as well.  She made it easier for me to leave, without guilt.  Once she took him away, I kicked the plan into full gear.  I contacted the packer lady, explaining my terror, and she made it happen the next morning.

I immediately called my daughter in Oregon and told her the situation.  She was so freaked out she called her husband and he left work immediately.  I told her to book the first flight to Austin and I would pay for it.  She called me back and said he would be there at midnight.

It all happened so fast.  I left my daughter sleeping when I went to the airport.  I had no idea how to get there, but I looked online for directions.  As I drove alone in the dark, I cried, releasing all my fear and heartache.  When I thought I was lost I took an exit in hopes of finding a gas station or a store where I could get directions.  Unfortunately, I took an exit where there was no such resource around, just a lot of ghetto houses with garbage and painted walls with gang symbols.

I turned down a street thinking it would take me back to the freeway but instead it went down a dead-end street.  I had all the doors locked and tried to get out of there as quick as possible.  I finally made it to the airport but I was late getting there.  I didn’t see anyone around the entire airport, it had long been closed.  I entered the huge empty building looking for my son-in-law.  He was nowhere.  I went back outside and looked around feeling panicked – where is he? - and then I saw him come around the corner of the building way down at the end.  He wasn’t too happy that I was 30 minutes late, but when I told him what happened he was understanding.  I didn’t have a cell phone so we couldn’t call each other.

The next morning the packer crew arrived.  My son-in-law took my car and went down to rent a UHaul truck, my daughter went with him.  When he arrived with the truck, the crew started loading it up with furniture and boxes as they continued to pack.  As we were driving out of the apartment complex, I saw Everett sitting in his car watching.  I turned my head away.  I couldn’t bare to see his face.

We picked up my car where my son-in-law had left it at the UHaul place, and the three of us headed out of Austin … Oregon bound.  It was a long trip, and I left regretting having ever moved to Austin, Texas.  We spent a couple of nights at motels.  My daughter would switch back and forth from the truck to the car.  When we arrived, it felt so wonderful to be back in Oregon … home again, at last.  Leaving in the first place was definitely a very terrible mistake.

I was able to get into a small rental house, and got back to work at the real estate company with the people I worked with before I moved to California.  My daughter was thrilled to be back to see her friends.  We were starting over again and it felt good, until a month later when I arrived home after work, and there sat Everett on my front porch.  I saw a strange car in the driveway before I saw him, and when I saw him, I wondered about the car.  I soon learned that he had sold his car and bought that one, as well as he got rid of everything he owned.  He quit his job in order to come find me.  I wondered if he had been watching me, and for how long.

I learned he had hired a private investigator to locate me.  He seemed so sure that he could get me back, he just needed to prove to me that I was safe, that he would seek professional help, that he’d do anything to make it work.  I kept telling him it wasn’t going to work and he needed to go back to Austin.  We talked on the front porch for quite a long time, and then he left.  I so hoped he’d taken my advice and left for good ... and when I didn’t hear from him for a few of days, I was about to sigh with relief.

Then, I got an email from him telling me he got a job at a nearby motel and would be staying there.  When I realized he had no intentions of leaving, the thought of him being there made me fearful, made me feel creepy all over again.  I panicked knowing he was there, and when he started to call constantly, leaving sobbing messages, and sending countless emails day and night, as well as parking outside my home and work, lurking around everywhere day after day after day for several weeks, I started to go insane.  I would sometimes scream to myself, “LEAVE ME ALONE!”  I knew better than to give him any attention, to not respond.

No one had ever stalked me before, and it’s a most frightening experience.  I never knew what he might do, but not him, but rather his other personalities.  I called the police but they couldn’t do anything if he hadn’t actually threatened me.  I was afraid to even go to sleep at night.  My daughter was aware of the situation, though she didn’t seem worried for herself.  She was very concerned for me.  I tried to assure it was going to be okay.  We just kept praying he would go away ... and one day it all stopped.  For nearly a week, nothing.  I was relieved, yet not sure why, or if he was still lurking.

A couple of weeks later I got an email from him.  He said he was back in Austin, and that his daughter passed away during child birth.  I knew she was pregnant when I left, and knowing she died made me feel so sad, and sad for him, too.  I didn’t respond.  I couldn’t open that door.  I never heard from him again.

 A few months later I was able to buy a home on an acre way out of town.  My daughter and I moved there and began anew.   If I hadn’t realized it already, it was evident that darkness followed me where ever I went.  I did not seek it, yet, I tried my best to deal with it, to defeat it, to protect against it - and I did.

The End